in the silence of the night
i sleep and dream
of things so far from home
so far from my heart
yet i long to linger in dreams
for inside them
i know is a distance i need to cover
and so upon waking i write
a song that might be about
what i dreamed the night before
and then try to sing it
before even really making it
what makes one sing?
even when there is no reason to sing about
or maybe no reason to write about
is it because there is no other way to express
one's thoughts and longings?
is it because of the truthfulness that a person
can take when writing?
is it because there is great fear in speaking?
is it because you an always erase what you wrote and you can't do that when you speak?
which is better?
to write or to speak?
to lead or to follow?
to sing or to dance?
to remain in silence or create noise?
to sit still or to stand and deliver?
is it not that there is a perfect time for things to be done?
will it make a difference if i was not a writer and i wrote?
or if i am not a singer and i sing?
or if i am not a dancer yet i dance?
why did i write this?
Monday, July 31, 2006
Monday, July 17, 2006
a new favorite
I Never Knew Love - Lovi Poe
I open my eyes, only to see
Just how sad this world could be
That i often cry alone...oohhh
I look at the sky, longing to see
There's a chance out there for me
For my heart to be set free...
Refrain:
My friends had say that it's ok
When rainbow's fade in clouds of gray
But in my heart i know someday
True happiness will come my way...
Chorus:
I never knew love till i found you
It's magic in your smile
Never knew love till i saw you lookin' in my eyes
And suddenly our sadness disappears
True love has fin'lly shown its smilin' eyes on me...
I'm searching the skies hopin' to see
If there's someone out there for me
Who will set my poor heart free...
(repeat refrain then chorus)
No ones believe that love was just a fairytale
But each time you hold me
Those fairytales come true...on you
(repeat chorus)
a song of my heart...
I open my eyes, only to see
Just how sad this world could be
That i often cry alone...oohhh
I look at the sky, longing to see
There's a chance out there for me
For my heart to be set free...
Refrain:
My friends had say that it's ok
When rainbow's fade in clouds of gray
But in my heart i know someday
True happiness will come my way...
Chorus:
I never knew love till i found you
It's magic in your smile
Never knew love till i saw you lookin' in my eyes
And suddenly our sadness disappears
True love has fin'lly shown its smilin' eyes on me...
I'm searching the skies hopin' to see
If there's someone out there for me
Who will set my poor heart free...
(repeat refrain then chorus)
No ones believe that love was just a fairytale
But each time you hold me
Those fairytales come true...on you
(repeat chorus)
a song of my heart...
knowing you...
Knowing You Jesus
Graham Kendrick
All I once held dear, built my life upon,
All this world reveres and wars to own;
All I once thought gain I have counted loss,
Spent and worthless now compared to this.
Knowing You, Jesus, knowing You
There is no greater thing.
You're my all, You're the best,
You're my joy, my righteousness,
And I love You Lord.
Now my heart's desire is to know You more,
To be found in You and know as Yours,
To possess by faith what I could not earn
All surpassing gift of righteousness
Oh to know the power of Your risen life,
And to know You in Your sufferings;
To become like You in Your death, my Lord,
So with You to live and never die.
Philippians 3: 7-10
7But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ 9and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. 10I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.
You are my all in all...how could i ever exchange you with what i think is best for me?
Graham Kendrick
All I once held dear, built my life upon,
All this world reveres and wars to own;
All I once thought gain I have counted loss,
Spent and worthless now compared to this.
Knowing You, Jesus, knowing You
There is no greater thing.
You're my all, You're the best,
You're my joy, my righteousness,
And I love You Lord.
Now my heart's desire is to know You more,
To be found in You and know as Yours,
To possess by faith what I could not earn
All surpassing gift of righteousness
Oh to know the power of Your risen life,
And to know You in Your sufferings;
To become like You in Your death, my Lord,
So with You to live and never die.
Philippians 3: 7-10
7But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ 9and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. 10I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.
You are my all in all...how could i ever exchange you with what i think is best for me?
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
a call to surrender
wouldn't it be great if i had everything i need?
wouldn't it be grand if my wishes were granted?
wouldn't it be nice if things always worked out
just the way i would have wanted them to be?
wouldn't it be good if everyone was a friend?
wouldn't it be better if people just care?
wouldn't it be cool if friends are always there?
wouldn't it be? wouldn't it be?
i guess, there are things in life i never will understand
yet i seek to know, to grasp, to comprehend
i know deep inside life isn't easy, nor isn't it fair
but why do i still hope that things will get better?
today, the work just seem so easy,
i even think this too shall pass away
a longing, a feeling, a hungering of spirit
a never ending search for meaning
the end of the beginning
if this is all there is to life
i guess it has never been worth it
if this is all there is to hope
i guess everything has been in vain
i could say with a deep anger & sorrow
that it would just have been good
if there was no tomorrow
but could i really deny it?
so what do i do?
do i just sit and wait for eternity
or do i seek opportunities work
to serve, to love, to sacrifice...
the call is not easy...
the call is to die...
the call is not for one's self
the call is for others to be helped
the call requires life
it also requires death
it requires suffering
it requires everything...
how much have i surrendered?
how much have i offered?
how much am i willing to give?
how much i am willing to receive?
can i take it?
can i drink the cup?
can i carry the cross?
can i deny myself?
CAN I?
wouldn't it be grand if my wishes were granted?
wouldn't it be nice if things always worked out
just the way i would have wanted them to be?
wouldn't it be good if everyone was a friend?
wouldn't it be better if people just care?
wouldn't it be cool if friends are always there?
wouldn't it be? wouldn't it be?
i guess, there are things in life i never will understand
yet i seek to know, to grasp, to comprehend
i know deep inside life isn't easy, nor isn't it fair
but why do i still hope that things will get better?
today, the work just seem so easy,
i even think this too shall pass away
a longing, a feeling, a hungering of spirit
a never ending search for meaning
the end of the beginning
if this is all there is to life
i guess it has never been worth it
if this is all there is to hope
i guess everything has been in vain
i could say with a deep anger & sorrow
that it would just have been good
if there was no tomorrow
but could i really deny it?
so what do i do?
do i just sit and wait for eternity
or do i seek opportunities work
to serve, to love, to sacrifice...
the call is not easy...
the call is to die...
the call is not for one's self
the call is for others to be helped
the call requires life
it also requires death
it requires suffering
it requires everything...
how much have i surrendered?
how much have i offered?
how much am i willing to give?
how much i am willing to receive?
can i take it?
can i drink the cup?
can i carry the cross?
can i deny myself?
CAN I?
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
favorites...
these songs have been sung with more conviction...with a whole new meaning...
Be Thou my Vision
Be thou my vision, O Lord of my heart
Naught be all else to me save that thou art
Thou my best thought by day or by night
Waking or sleeping thy presence my light.
Be thou my wisdom, thou my true word
I ever with thee, thou with me, Lord
Thou my great Father, I thy true Son
Thou in me dwelling, and I with thee one.
Be thou my battle shield, sword for the fight
Be thou my dignity, thou my delight
Thou my soul's shelter, thou my high tower
Raise thou me heavenward, O power of my power.
Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise
Thou mine inheritance, now and always
Thou and thou only, first in my heart
High King of heaven, my treasure thou art.
High King of heaven, after victory won
May I reach heaven's joys, O bright heaven's sun
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall
Still be my vision, O ruler of all.
I Cannot Tell - W Y Fullerton
Should set His love upon the sons of men
Or why, as Shepherd, He should seek the wanderers
To bring them back, they know not how or when.
But this I know, that He was born of Mary
When Bethlehem's manger was His only home,
And that He lived at
And so the Savior, Savior of the world is come.
I cannot tell how silently He suffered,
As with His peace He graced this place of tears,
Or how His heart upon the cross was broken,
The crown of pain to three and thirty years.
But this I know, He heals the broken-hearted,
And stays our sin, and calms our lurking fear,
And lifts the burden from the heavy laden,
For yet the Savior, Savior of the world, is here
I cannot tell how He will win the nations,
How He will claim His earthly heritage,
How satisfy the needs and aspirations
Of east and west, of sinner and of sage.
But this I know, all flesh shall see His glory,
And He shall reap the harvest He has sown,
And some glad day His sun shall shine in splendor
When He the Savior, Savior of the world, is known
I cannot tell how all the lands shall worship
When, at His bidding, every storm is stilled,
Or who can say how great the jubilation
When all the hearts of men with love are filled.
But this I know, the skies will thrill with rapture,
And myriad, myriad human voices sing,
And earth to heaven, and heaven to earth, will answer:
At last the Savior, Savior of the world, is King
Monday, June 26, 2006
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
isang panalangin
A Prayer Before Study (St. Thomas Aquinas)
ineffable Creator...
You are proclaimed
the true font of light and wisdom
and the primal origin
raised high beyond all things...
Pour forth a ray of Your brightness
into the darkened places of my mind;
disperse from my soul
the twofold darkness
into which i was born:
sin and ignorance.
You make eloquent the tongues of infants.
Refine my speech
and pur forth upon my lips
the goodness of Your blessing.
Grant to me
keenness of mind,
capacity to remember,
skill in learning,
subtlety to interpret,
and eloquence in speech.
May you
guide the beginning of my work,
direct its progress,
and bring it to completion.
You Who are true God and true Man,
Who live and reign, world without end.
Amen.
-Lord grant me a heart full of openness that i may not be too rigid nor too fluid in the way i relate and work with others...
ineffable Creator...
You are proclaimed
the true font of light and wisdom
and the primal origin
raised high beyond all things...
Pour forth a ray of Your brightness
into the darkened places of my mind;
disperse from my soul
the twofold darkness
into which i was born:
sin and ignorance.
You make eloquent the tongues of infants.
Refine my speech
and pur forth upon my lips
the goodness of Your blessing.
Grant to me
keenness of mind,
capacity to remember,
skill in learning,
subtlety to interpret,
and eloquence in speech.
May you
guide the beginning of my work,
direct its progress,
and bring it to completion.
You Who are true God and true Man,
Who live and reign, world without end.
Amen.
-Lord grant me a heart full of openness that i may not be too rigid nor too fluid in the way i relate and work with others...
Friday, June 09, 2006
sa pagsulat
nagsusulat ako ng kanta
mahirap kapag di mo matapos
paminsan-minsan lang naman ito
pero sa palagay ko,
magtatagal pa bago ko tuluyang matapos
mahasa ang kakayahang ito
wala lang
kailangan ko lang isulat dito
para lang may nasasabihan ako
mahirap kapag di mo matapos
paminsan-minsan lang naman ito
pero sa palagay ko,
magtatagal pa bago ko tuluyang matapos
mahasa ang kakayahang ito
wala lang
kailangan ko lang isulat dito
para lang may nasasabihan ako
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
a song that makes me think twice whenever i do something now
Do I Make You Proud – Taylor Hicks
I've never been the one to raise my hand
That was not me, and now that's who I am
Because of you, I am standing tall
My heart is full of endless gratitude
You were the one, the one to guide me through
Now I can see and I believe
It's only just beginning
[CHORUS:]
This is what we dream about
But the only question with me now
Is do I make you proud?
Stronger than I've ever been now
Never been afraid of standing out
But do I make you proud?
Everybody needs to rise up
Everybody needs to be loved
To be loved
[CHORUS:]
This is what we dream about
But the only question with me now
Is do I make you, do I make you proud?
There ain't no question, just do I make you proud?
Stronger than I've ever been now
Never been afraid of standing out
But do I make you proud?
Do I make you proud?
I've never been the one to raise my hand
That was not me, and now that's who I am
Because of you, I am standing tall
My heart is full of endless gratitude
You were the one, the one to guide me through
Now I can see and I believe
It's only just beginning
[CHORUS:]
This is what we dream about
But the only question with me now
Is do I make you proud?
Stronger than I've ever been now
Never been afraid of standing out
But do I make you proud?
Everybody needs to rise up
Everybody needs to be loved
To be loved
[CHORUS:]
This is what we dream about
But the only question with me now
Is do I make you, do I make you proud?
There ain't no question, just do I make you proud?
Stronger than I've ever been now
Never been afraid of standing out
But do I make you proud?
Do I make you proud?
Monday, June 05, 2006
at the cross
have you been to this place?
At the Cross
(Randy Butler, Terry Butler)
I know a place, a wonderful place
Where accused and condemned
Find mercy and grace
Where the wrongs we have done
And the wrongs done to us
Were nailed there with Him
There on the cross
At the cross (at the cross)
He died for our sin
At the cross (at the cross)
He gave us life again
I know a place, a wonderful place
Where accused and condemned
Find mercy and grace
Where the wrongs we have done
And the wrongs done to us
Were nailed there with You
There on the cross
At the cross (at the cross)
You died for our sin
At the cross (at the cross)
You gave us life again
Copyright © 1997 Mercy/Vineyard Publishing. All rights reserved. International copyright secured.
At the Cross
(Randy Butler, Terry Butler)
I know a place, a wonderful place
Where accused and condemned
Find mercy and grace
Where the wrongs we have done
And the wrongs done to us
Were nailed there with Him
There on the cross
At the cross (at the cross)
He died for our sin
At the cross (at the cross)
He gave us life again
I know a place, a wonderful place
Where accused and condemned
Find mercy and grace
Where the wrongs we have done
And the wrongs done to us
Were nailed there with You
There on the cross
At the cross (at the cross)
You died for our sin
At the cross (at the cross)
You gave us life again
Copyright © 1997 Mercy/Vineyard Publishing. All rights reserved. International copyright secured.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
mga kanta lang...
Everlasting Love
The Company
I used to be so unhappy and so lonely
Love would come and never stay
But, that was yesterday
I was scared to admit I cared for someone
'cause my heart would always break
But, things have changed today
Darling, did you know that something happened to us?
Right before the future and right after the past
Did you smile when you found out what a wonderful thing it was?
We found an everlasting love
I'm glad we'll go through life together
'cause when you are by my side
Tomorrow looks so bright
I'm sure we'll stay in love forever
As for all our fears and doubt
They're all behind us now
Darling, did you know that something happened to us?
Right before the future and right after the past
Did you smile when you found out what a wonderful thing it was?
This love is everlasting
Darling, did you know that something happened to us?
Right before the future and right after the past
Did you smile when you found out what a wonderful thing it was?
We found an everlasting love
Sharing my love with you as
We journey through life walking hand in hand
But our lifetime seems short for a love
That will last 'til the end of time
Darling, did you know that something happened to us?
Right before the future and right after the past
Did you smile when you found out what a wonderful thing it was?
This love is everlasting
Darling, did you know that something happened to us?
Right before the future and right after the past
Did you smile when you found out what a wonderful thing it was?
Our hearts have found a love
(we found an everlasting love)
We found an everlasting love...
The Company
I used to be so unhappy and so lonely
Love would come and never stay
But, that was yesterday
I was scared to admit I cared for someone
'cause my heart would always break
But, things have changed today
Darling, did you know that something happened to us?
Right before the future and right after the past
Did you smile when you found out what a wonderful thing it was?
We found an everlasting love
I'm glad we'll go through life together
'cause when you are by my side
Tomorrow looks so bright
I'm sure we'll stay in love forever
As for all our fears and doubt
They're all behind us now
Darling, did you know that something happened to us?
Right before the future and right after the past
Did you smile when you found out what a wonderful thing it was?
This love is everlasting
Darling, did you know that something happened to us?
Right before the future and right after the past
Did you smile when you found out what a wonderful thing it was?
We found an everlasting love
Sharing my love with you as
We journey through life walking hand in hand
But our lifetime seems short for a love
That will last 'til the end of time
Darling, did you know that something happened to us?
Right before the future and right after the past
Did you smile when you found out what a wonderful thing it was?
This love is everlasting
Darling, did you know that something happened to us?
Right before the future and right after the past
Did you smile when you found out what a wonderful thing it was?
Our hearts have found a love
(we found an everlasting love)
We found an everlasting love...
Makita Kang Muli – Sugarfree
[Refrain 1]
Bawat sandali ng aking buhay
Pagmamahal mo ang aking taglay
San man mapadpad ng hangin
Hindi magbabago aking pagtingin
[Bridge]
Pangako natin sa Maykapal
Na tayo lamang sa habang buhay
Maghintay..
[Chorus]
Ipaglalaban ko ang ating pagibig
Maghintay ka lamang ako’y darating
Pagkat sa isang taong mahal mo ng buong puso
Lahat ay gagawin makita kang muli
Makita kang muli, makita kang muli..
[Refrain 2]
Puso’y nagdurusa, nangungulila
Iniisip ka pag nagiisa
Inaalala mga sandali
Nang tayo ay magkapiling
Ikaw ang gabay sa akin tuwina
Ang aking ilaw sa gabing mapanglaw
Tanging ikaw..
[Chorus]
Ipaglalaban ko ang ating pagibig
Maghintay ka lamang ako’y darating
Pagkat sa isang taong mahal mo ng buong puso
Lahat ay gagawin makita kang muli
Makita kang muli, makita kang muli..
Pangarap na Bituin – Sharon Cuneta
Saang sulok ng langit ko matatagpuan
Kapalarang 'di natitikman
Sa pangarap lang namasdan
Isang lingon sa langit at isang ngiting wagas
May talang kikislap, gabay patungo sa tamang landas
*Unti-unting mararating kalangitan at bituin
Unti-unting kinabukasan ko'y magniningning
hawak ngayo'y tibay ng damdamin
Bukas naman sa aking paggising
Kapiling koy's pangarap na bituin
Ilang sulok ng lupa, may kubling nalulumbay?
Mga sanay sa isang kahig, isang tukang pamumuhay
Isang lingon sa langit, nais magbagong-buhay
Sa ating mga palad nakasalalay ang ating bukas
(Repeat *)
Bukas naman sa aking paggising
Kapiling ko'y pangarap na bituin
ang maging tagapaglingkod ng hari...
may hihigit pa bang bagay sa isang kagaya nito...isang pagkakataong magamit mo ang mga kasanayan at pagkatuto para sa iba? saang lugar nga ba ang dapat kalagyan ng mga taong kagaya ko? mga taong ayaw yumaman...hehehe...mga taong ang hangad ay mamatay sa sarili, mamatay upang mabuhay ang iba...saan nga ba ang pinakamabuti at pinak-akmang lugar na dapat naming puntahan?
noong ako ay bata pa, naging pangarap ko na ang pumunta ng africa...doon sa lugar na walang pagkakilala sa Manlilikha...doon sa kung saan ang mga tao ay hindi pa natututong magbasa at magsulat...silang mga nangangailangan ng pagmamahal at pag-aaruga ng mga nakakaalam ng katotohanan...hanggang ngayon, ito pa rin ang pangarap ko...ang makita ang sarili kong nagtuturo sa mga batang kailangan talagang makilala at matuto ng mga dapat matutunan...sapagkat hindi ako nabubuhay para lamang sa sarili ko o para lamang sa aking pamilya...nabubuhay ako para sa aking Manlilikha...para maibigay ang luwalhati at papuri para sa aking Manlilikha...
ito ang hinihingi sa sinumang tinawag upang maging tagapaglingkod...maging bukas at may pagkukusang sumunod kahit saan pa dalhin...kahit ano pang utos..para sa Kanya...
noong ako ay bata pa, naging pangarap ko na ang pumunta ng africa...doon sa lugar na walang pagkakilala sa Manlilikha...doon sa kung saan ang mga tao ay hindi pa natututong magbasa at magsulat...silang mga nangangailangan ng pagmamahal at pag-aaruga ng mga nakakaalam ng katotohanan...hanggang ngayon, ito pa rin ang pangarap ko...ang makita ang sarili kong nagtuturo sa mga batang kailangan talagang makilala at matuto ng mga dapat matutunan...sapagkat hindi ako nabubuhay para lamang sa sarili ko o para lamang sa aking pamilya...nabubuhay ako para sa aking Manlilikha...para maibigay ang luwalhati at papuri para sa aking Manlilikha...
ito ang hinihingi sa sinumang tinawag upang maging tagapaglingkod...maging bukas at may pagkukusang sumunod kahit saan pa dalhin...kahit ano pang utos..para sa Kanya...
Thursday, May 25, 2006
katibayan ng biyaya
heto ako nung summer...parang isang windmill...i was very willing to remain steadfast yet i was distracted with so many things i need to do...and so unlike the windmill, i failed to sit still and linger...despite this reality, the grace of God has reached out to me...once again i felt the sweet embrace of the Lord...
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
paghimaya
Ito ang liham panalangin ni Rachel. [paghimaya - ang cebuano term na ito ay nangangahulugang pagluwalhati] ito ang naisin ko, ang luwalhatiin ang aking Panginoon at Tagapagligtas sa aking paglalayag bilang isang staff ng ivcf-phils. Ito ang mga kwento ng mga karanasan ko sa patuloy na pagkilala at pagsunod sa aking Manlilikha, May-akda ng aking buhay at pananampalataya...Sa Diyos ang himaya!
Volume 1, Issue 1 May 2006
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Dear Ministry Partners,
“This world is no friend to grace. A person who makes a commitment to Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior does not find a crown immediately forming to applaud the decision nor old friends spontaneously gathering around to offer congratulations and counsel. Ordinarily, there is nothing hostile, but an accumulation of puzzled disapproval and agnostic indifference constitutes nevertheless, surprisingly formidable opposition.”
- Eugene Peterson , [A Long Obedience in the Same Direction] (I felt very much like what this paragraph states. Some people questioned my calling and my intentions. What could I do? Do I dare disobey?)
Kumusta po kayo? It is a joy for me to share with you the things I am doing and experiencing as a staff worker. It is the prayer of my heart that as you read this prayer letter, you will find how the Lord Jesus Christ, by His grace and power, so lovingly sustains and holds each one of us.
Six months ago, I officially became a team member of the Field Ministry Department of Inter Varsity Christian Fellowship, Phils. Looking back, I cannot help but smile and cry at the same time. There were many things that would make me do these two things at once. What would have happened if the Lord had not brought me here? Hmmm...something I would really need to ponder every now and then as I struggle day by day with the realities of staff life. Hay naku, Lord...kumusta naman ako? If someone asks me now why I became a staff, my answer would be 'kasi pagod na ako makipagtaguan sa Panginoon'(i'm tired of playing hide and seek with God). How's that? People would probably frown and wonder, could she ever hide from the Lord? Syempre, hindi. Kaya nga wala nang takas...sunod na talaga.
How about you? How have you been in your journey? I pray that as you read my stories here, you will find that the Lord who worked, works and will be working in my life will do the same thing to you...kaya I invite you to journey with me...a new beginning...a new adventure...a new experience of God's grace and faithfulness...all for His glory.
The Call...
I would like to believe that my call to become a missionary started when I was born. Because I am the eldest, my mother told me that she offered me to God when I came out into the world. Wow! When I learned about it, it dawned on me that the life I live even at that young age, was not my own. I have been 'handed over'.
And so, with that in mind and heart, I dared to obey.
When I attended KC '97, I promised the Lord that I would serve Him as a staff worker if I am invited. Surprise! After eight years of running away (sa takot na maimbita), I finally had to face the ultimate challenge of my life; to serve the Lord fulltime! Whenever I did have the chance to ponder on its implications as I was the eldest in the family (a call I dare not deny) I suddenly become aware of the risks I would be taking. Kaya lang, mas matindi din ang pagbabalik alaala ko sa mga patunay ng katapatan ng Panginoon sa buhay ko at sa aming pamilya. Kapag dumadating na ang punto ng pagtatanong kung ano ang mangyayari sa mga kapatid ko, ibabalik at ibabalik ako ng Panginoon sa mga karanasan ko ng Kanyang biyaya, pagmamahal at katapatan. So I dared to obey this God who so patiently convinced me that this is where I should be.
First Times...
Ang aking journey sa pagiging staff ay naging makasaysayan dahilan sa mga bagay na ginawa ko at naransan ko first time...
Last Christmas we had the first ever caroling of the IVCF staff family to IVCF friends and supporters. I had the privilege of joining the whole staff team in singing Christmas carols and bringing with us the celebration of God's love. Ang saya!..maraming lugar kaming napuntahan...iba't - ibang uri ng pagkain ang natikman...sari-saring bahay (sa anyo at laki) ang aming napasok. Sa tuwing magkakaroling kami, damang-dama ko ang kabuluhan ng Pasko. Salamat kay Kuya Dennis (may liturgy pa ang aming caroling).
Sa staffcon, first time ko humarap at maglead ng praise and worship sa mga kapita-pitagang staff workers (hehehe). That was the time I felt and said to the Lord, "Who am I that I would stand in front of all these people and lead them in praising and worshipping You? I'm not worthy." That time will always come back to me as a powerful reminder of God's grace. What truth, what reality I have been missing because of a lack of confidence in God and in myself.
Sa Kawayan Camp, first time ko sumabak bilang staff. First time ko magplane. First time ko sa Bacolod. First time ko mapagod ng sobra...may carry over hanggang first week ng KC...umiyak at namaga ang mata dahil sa di maipaliwanag na kapaguran at kalungkutan...maaaring di lamang sa katawan kundi maging ang damdamin. Ang dami pong first times no? Pero doon, maraming pinatunayan ang Panginoon sa akin. Mga katotohanang alam kong tagos sa puso...kapag naiisip ko kung paanong ang isang taong makasalanan, broken and dying na katulad ko ay magiging daluyan Niya ng biyaya at pag-ibig, parang ayaw ko nang gumising at kumilos. Subalit hindi matatawaran at masusukat ang biyaya ng Panginoon...ang katapatan Niya ay sadyang sariwa sa bawat umaga. Sa tuwing gigisingin ako ng huni ng mga ibon at ng haring araw, alam kong buhay ako at may pag-asa, may dahilan upang sumamba lalo sa Kanya, mag-alay ng awit, ng buhay. Kapag kasama ko ang mga campers, nakikipagkwentuhan at nakikijamming sa kanila, ibang saya at fulfilment ang nasa puso ko. Paano nga ba itatanggi pa ang kabutihan ng Panginoon? Paano pa magtatanong ng “Lord, is this where You really want me be?” Parang hindi na iyon akma at makatotohanan. Alam ko na ang sagot.
Ito po ang aking small group sa KC… Our name: Aninipot Beam (Firefly’s Beam) w/ MV Matt. 5:16.[yung 1st 4 from from left -rein, jp, celyn, frannie, from right – ako, k.jun, theia & kim]
The Tasks at Hand
November 15, a Tuesday was the day I was welcomed in the staff family. Before that day, the Lord has given me a number of privileges of being with the staff team & with the students, Teddy, a KCmate & a former staff, handed over 2 of his campus (MIT & PLM) assignments to me. Imus Institute also became one of my campus assignments.
The first days with the students were spent in knowing them…GTKY ba. After that, Bibles Studies were held alternately led by students & me. With MIT & PLM, the Lord has given at least 5 students every B.S. (with PLM, usually they have more than 5 attendees). Praise the Lord.
In I.I., there are 4 regular Bible Studies every week, (2 on Tuesday nights & another 2 on Thursday nights). I was amazed of how the Lord has sustained that chapter for almost 2 years without constant staff visit. It was another evidence of His power & grace. I am also blessed with the life of the two student B.S. leaders who never gets tired of inviting their classmates to attend the evangelistic Bible Study. In this campus, I usually sleep at a friend’s house because the meetings are held during evenings because their class schedules are afternoons until evenings. There was a time, I went home at around 10 pm, I arrived at Anislag almost midnight. The Lord has protected me during that time. It’s also a one-of-a-kind adventure for me. I rode a bus which has a driver who thought that he was in a car race in the middle of EDSA. I really prayed while I was holding on to the railings for dear life. =)
I believe there will be more of these adventures in my staff days…It is part & parcel of this journey…glimpses of God’s providence and safekeeping.
The God who is Ahead of me…
As this school year begins, I face tremendous opportunities of hope & insecurities…To whom do I put my trust? Will my heart despair when uncertainties lurk at the crossroads of this journey or will my heart be steadfast in serving the Lord of Creation, the Lord of my life?
I anticipate changes in this coming year. Marami yun for sure. Bigger responsibilities are assigned. Kapag iniisip ko kung kaya ko ba magpatuloy napapahiya ako sa tugon ng Panginoon. Is this for you and about you my child? I answer, “Hindi po Lord. Sa Inyo po at para sa Inyo. Ito ay tungkol sa Iyo at hindi sa akin.”
I hold on to this truth from His Word; “For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen.” (Rom. 11:36)
Join me in Prayer…
· Pray for meaningful times w/ student-leaders as we hold our Bible Studies & training sessions. Pray that they would be learn from the Word and act on what they have gained.
· Pray for good health & safety as I travel to & fro Cavite (my new assignment includes PUP Maragondon, quite far)
· Pray for my family’s health (esp. my mother who has enlargement of the heart & my sister who has D.S.)
· Pray for me as I study & lead that I be careful not to take things for granted but to work excellently for God’s glory; that I may not give in to hopelessness or despair when things are not as clear as they have to be.
· Pray for our department, College, as we face a new school year w/ a lesser number of staff & a broader ministry opportunities.
· Pray for IVCF, as the movement faces another exciting year of transitions w/ a new National Director, Kuya Zaldy Harder.
A Salute to the Dawn…
“What is faith? It is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen. It is the evidence of things we cannot yet see.” Heb. 11:1
“The one thing I ask of the LORD-- the thing I seek most-- is to live in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, delighting in the LORD's perfections and meditating in his Temple.” Ps. 27:4
“Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever.” Ps. 73:25-26
Ang mga talatang ito at marami pang iba ang bitbit ko at katiyakan sa mga susunod pang araw ng pagkilala at pagdanas sa walang maliw na katapatan at pag-ibig ng Diyos.
Ito po ang aking kwento….
Kwento ng pag-ibig at katapatan ng Panginoon…
Kwento ng kahinaan at pagkabasag sa harapan ng aking Manlilikha…
Kwentong hangad ay maibigay ang pinakamataas na papuri at luwalhati to my Master & Owner, the life I live now I live by faith through Him who strengthens and enables me for His glory alone…for Him alone…rachel
Volume 1, Issue 1 May 2006
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Dear Ministry Partners,
“This world is no friend to grace. A person who makes a commitment to Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior does not find a crown immediately forming to applaud the decision nor old friends spontaneously gathering around to offer congratulations and counsel. Ordinarily, there is nothing hostile, but an accumulation of puzzled disapproval and agnostic indifference constitutes nevertheless, surprisingly formidable opposition.”
- Eugene Peterson , [A Long Obedience in the Same Direction] (I felt very much like what this paragraph states. Some people questioned my calling and my intentions. What could I do? Do I dare disobey?)
Kumusta po kayo? It is a joy for me to share with you the things I am doing and experiencing as a staff worker. It is the prayer of my heart that as you read this prayer letter, you will find how the Lord Jesus Christ, by His grace and power, so lovingly sustains and holds each one of us.
Six months ago, I officially became a team member of the Field Ministry Department of Inter Varsity Christian Fellowship, Phils. Looking back, I cannot help but smile and cry at the same time. There were many things that would make me do these two things at once. What would have happened if the Lord had not brought me here? Hmmm...something I would really need to ponder every now and then as I struggle day by day with the realities of staff life. Hay naku, Lord...kumusta naman ako? If someone asks me now why I became a staff, my answer would be 'kasi pagod na ako makipagtaguan sa Panginoon'(i'm tired of playing hide and seek with God). How's that? People would probably frown and wonder, could she ever hide from the Lord? Syempre, hindi. Kaya nga wala nang takas...sunod na talaga.
How about you? How have you been in your journey? I pray that as you read my stories here, you will find that the Lord who worked, works and will be working in my life will do the same thing to you...kaya I invite you to journey with me...a new beginning...a new adventure...a new experience of God's grace and faithfulness...all for His glory.
The Call...
I would like to believe that my call to become a missionary started when I was born. Because I am the eldest, my mother told me that she offered me to God when I came out into the world. Wow! When I learned about it, it dawned on me that the life I live even at that young age, was not my own. I have been 'handed over'.
And so, with that in mind and heart, I dared to obey.
When I attended KC '97, I promised the Lord that I would serve Him as a staff worker if I am invited. Surprise! After eight years of running away (sa takot na maimbita), I finally had to face the ultimate challenge of my life; to serve the Lord fulltime! Whenever I did have the chance to ponder on its implications as I was the eldest in the family (a call I dare not deny) I suddenly become aware of the risks I would be taking. Kaya lang, mas matindi din ang pagbabalik alaala ko sa mga patunay ng katapatan ng Panginoon sa buhay ko at sa aming pamilya. Kapag dumadating na ang punto ng pagtatanong kung ano ang mangyayari sa mga kapatid ko, ibabalik at ibabalik ako ng Panginoon sa mga karanasan ko ng Kanyang biyaya, pagmamahal at katapatan. So I dared to obey this God who so patiently convinced me that this is where I should be.
First Times...
Ang aking journey sa pagiging staff ay naging makasaysayan dahilan sa mga bagay na ginawa ko at naransan ko first time...
Last Christmas we had the first ever caroling of the IVCF staff family to IVCF friends and supporters. I had the privilege of joining the whole staff team in singing Christmas carols and bringing with us the celebration of God's love. Ang saya!..maraming lugar kaming napuntahan...iba't - ibang uri ng pagkain ang natikman...sari-saring bahay (sa anyo at laki) ang aming napasok. Sa tuwing magkakaroling kami, damang-dama ko ang kabuluhan ng Pasko. Salamat kay Kuya Dennis (may liturgy pa ang aming caroling).
Sa staffcon, first time ko humarap at maglead ng praise and worship sa mga kapita-pitagang staff workers (hehehe). That was the time I felt and said to the Lord, "Who am I that I would stand in front of all these people and lead them in praising and worshipping You? I'm not worthy." That time will always come back to me as a powerful reminder of God's grace. What truth, what reality I have been missing because of a lack of confidence in God and in myself.
Sa Kawayan Camp, first time ko sumabak bilang staff. First time ko magplane. First time ko sa Bacolod. First time ko mapagod ng sobra...may carry over hanggang first week ng KC...umiyak at namaga ang mata dahil sa di maipaliwanag na kapaguran at kalungkutan...maaaring di lamang sa katawan kundi maging ang damdamin. Ang dami pong first times no? Pero doon, maraming pinatunayan ang Panginoon sa akin. Mga katotohanang alam kong tagos sa puso...kapag naiisip ko kung paanong ang isang taong makasalanan, broken and dying na katulad ko ay magiging daluyan Niya ng biyaya at pag-ibig, parang ayaw ko nang gumising at kumilos. Subalit hindi matatawaran at masusukat ang biyaya ng Panginoon...ang katapatan Niya ay sadyang sariwa sa bawat umaga. Sa tuwing gigisingin ako ng huni ng mga ibon at ng haring araw, alam kong buhay ako at may pag-asa, may dahilan upang sumamba lalo sa Kanya, mag-alay ng awit, ng buhay. Kapag kasama ko ang mga campers, nakikipagkwentuhan at nakikijamming sa kanila, ibang saya at fulfilment ang nasa puso ko. Paano nga ba itatanggi pa ang kabutihan ng Panginoon? Paano pa magtatanong ng “Lord, is this where You really want me be?” Parang hindi na iyon akma at makatotohanan. Alam ko na ang sagot.
Ito po ang aking small group sa KC… Our name: Aninipot Beam (Firefly’s Beam) w/ MV Matt. 5:16.[yung 1st 4 from from left -rein, jp, celyn, frannie, from right – ako, k.jun, theia & kim]
The Tasks at Hand
November 15, a Tuesday was the day I was welcomed in the staff family. Before that day, the Lord has given me a number of privileges of being with the staff team & with the students, Teddy, a KCmate & a former staff, handed over 2 of his campus (MIT & PLM) assignments to me. Imus Institute also became one of my campus assignments.
The first days with the students were spent in knowing them…GTKY ba. After that, Bibles Studies were held alternately led by students & me. With MIT & PLM, the Lord has given at least 5 students every B.S. (with PLM, usually they have more than 5 attendees). Praise the Lord.
In I.I., there are 4 regular Bible Studies every week, (2 on Tuesday nights & another 2 on Thursday nights). I was amazed of how the Lord has sustained that chapter for almost 2 years without constant staff visit. It was another evidence of His power & grace. I am also blessed with the life of the two student B.S. leaders who never gets tired of inviting their classmates to attend the evangelistic Bible Study. In this campus, I usually sleep at a friend’s house because the meetings are held during evenings because their class schedules are afternoons until evenings. There was a time, I went home at around 10 pm, I arrived at Anislag almost midnight. The Lord has protected me during that time. It’s also a one-of-a-kind adventure for me. I rode a bus which has a driver who thought that he was in a car race in the middle of EDSA. I really prayed while I was holding on to the railings for dear life. =)
I believe there will be more of these adventures in my staff days…It is part & parcel of this journey…glimpses of God’s providence and safekeeping.
The God who is Ahead of me…
As this school year begins, I face tremendous opportunities of hope & insecurities…To whom do I put my trust? Will my heart despair when uncertainties lurk at the crossroads of this journey or will my heart be steadfast in serving the Lord of Creation, the Lord of my life?
I anticipate changes in this coming year. Marami yun for sure. Bigger responsibilities are assigned. Kapag iniisip ko kung kaya ko ba magpatuloy napapahiya ako sa tugon ng Panginoon. Is this for you and about you my child? I answer, “Hindi po Lord. Sa Inyo po at para sa Inyo. Ito ay tungkol sa Iyo at hindi sa akin.”
I hold on to this truth from His Word; “For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen.” (Rom. 11:36)
Join me in Prayer…
· Pray for meaningful times w/ student-leaders as we hold our Bible Studies & training sessions. Pray that they would be learn from the Word and act on what they have gained.
· Pray for good health & safety as I travel to & fro Cavite (my new assignment includes PUP Maragondon, quite far)
· Pray for my family’s health (esp. my mother who has enlargement of the heart & my sister who has D.S.)
· Pray for me as I study & lead that I be careful not to take things for granted but to work excellently for God’s glory; that I may not give in to hopelessness or despair when things are not as clear as they have to be.
· Pray for our department, College, as we face a new school year w/ a lesser number of staff & a broader ministry opportunities.
· Pray for IVCF, as the movement faces another exciting year of transitions w/ a new National Director, Kuya Zaldy Harder.
A Salute to the Dawn…
“What is faith? It is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen. It is the evidence of things we cannot yet see.” Heb. 11:1
“The one thing I ask of the LORD-- the thing I seek most-- is to live in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, delighting in the LORD's perfections and meditating in his Temple.” Ps. 27:4
“Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever.” Ps. 73:25-26
Ang mga talatang ito at marami pang iba ang bitbit ko at katiyakan sa mga susunod pang araw ng pagkilala at pagdanas sa walang maliw na katapatan at pag-ibig ng Diyos.
Ito po ang aking kwento….
Kwento ng pag-ibig at katapatan ng Panginoon…
Kwento ng kahinaan at pagkabasag sa harapan ng aking Manlilikha…
Kwentong hangad ay maibigay ang pinakamataas na papuri at luwalhati to my Master & Owner, the life I live now I live by faith through Him who strengthens and enables me for His glory alone…for Him alone…rachel
Monday, May 22, 2006
if you ask me why...
this is my passion...this is where i have been called to go and serve...above everything else, above anyone else, i do this because of the One who created and designed me to do it...a lot of people have questioned why i chose to be in this kind of work...working with students...being & living with them...journeying with them...what do i answer?i believe this is the best place my Caller & Master has brought me to...i seek not to do these things for the people who are expecting me to do them...i seek a higher cause...a greater reward...a better motivation than just the applause of men...they, who in another place & time may question who & what i am...i seek to give this to the Author & Perfecter of my faith...my life...my all...
as Eugene Peterson has stated in "a long obedience in the same direction", 'This world is no friend to grace. A person who makes a commitment to Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior does not find a crowd immediately forming to applaud the decision nor old friends gathering spontaneouly to offer congratulations and counsel. Ordinarily, there is nothing directly hostile, but an accumulation of puzzled disapproval and agnostic indifference constitutes, nevertheless, surprisingly formidable opposition.' when i cam in to this kind of work, i thought people would be happy...i was wrong...many others have questioned me...my calling...my motive...how do i answer them? i have none to offer but this life lent to me...what more can i say?
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
this has been me three years ago
i still could not believe i looked like this...today, i would be looking differently yet i am still the same person i think i am before except for some changes inwardly and outwardly...hehehe
my journey as a person in this photo has just turned around...this was taken when i almost went abroad to work...when one sees me now, they would not believe that this is who and what i looked like three years ago...hahaha
still, i am glad i was able to do this...to capture a memory of who i am...
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
parables in my life
hmmmm....for almost three weeks i wasn't able to write anything here...i was busy...too busy that i almost forgot i need to be alive...
of course, there had been times i felt i was too exhausted to move...those were days i almost forgot my need to really live...
guess, it is something the Lord has reminded me over and over again...
how has my life been for the past weeks...incredibly exciting, exhilirating and exhausting...
it;s not because of the hard work and the difficult tasks that i became tired...i became tired because i felt i was alone...and indeed i was...
moments of reflection and meditation brought to me several pictures of the beauty of being alive...a spider hanging on a thread of its web...a dewdrop hanging at the tip of the leaf...birds carefully picking up leaves for their nests...a widmill, so still yet flexible...
there were moments when i almost forgot to live...but then, there were also moments that encouraged me to go on..and enjoy life...they are just threads of hope in my life...threads that allowed me to see life differently again...i might write the details later on.
for now, i'm just glad to have written these thoughts...
of course, there had been times i felt i was too exhausted to move...those were days i almost forgot my need to really live...
guess, it is something the Lord has reminded me over and over again...
how has my life been for the past weeks...incredibly exciting, exhilirating and exhausting...
it;s not because of the hard work and the difficult tasks that i became tired...i became tired because i felt i was alone...and indeed i was...
moments of reflection and meditation brought to me several pictures of the beauty of being alive...a spider hanging on a thread of its web...a dewdrop hanging at the tip of the leaf...birds carefully picking up leaves for their nests...a widmill, so still yet flexible...
there were moments when i almost forgot to live...but then, there were also moments that encouraged me to go on..and enjoy life...they are just threads of hope in my life...threads that allowed me to see life differently again...i might write the details later on.
for now, i'm just glad to have written these thoughts...
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