whoever said that there are shortcuts in every thing you would want to do the easiest possible way?
it looks to me at this point in my life that i still have a long way to go...in every aspect of my life known to me...
and whenever i get to realize this truth, i stop and rethink how i have been living my life nowadays...
have i been considerate and kind?
have i been tolerant and peaceloving?
have i been patient and loving?
have i been loving and forgiving?
have i been fair?
have i really listened?loved?laughed?
have i been courageous and disciplined?
most of the answers to the questions above will be a resounding and heartbreaking NO!!!
what a fool i am... to have believed that i can achieve something within my ability & power...it's as if i did have the ability...or the power...i neither have both...i am a wretched fool...and i need a huge serving of mercy & grace...
sometimes i really wonder why i am here....what am i doing here? i could have achieved more if i was there and not here...so many ifs and buts in my journey...so many things to look at...so many detours and suddenly i become aware that i have gone astray and has to go back to the right path...
what becomes of me and to the people i am directly in contact with lies solely in God...no more, no less...if he chooses me to be here...then it is because i am not exactly needed but i am wanted...it's such an honor....to be called not out of need but out of want...am i also doing it to 'them'? am i intentionally working on to help others experience Christ...him only...i don't think i am...and so i really am a long way to go to become like him...
i'm sleepy...
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